It has been a few weeks since my last Blog entry. And it has been a busy and timeless 2 weeks. I have been to the heights and certainly the lows as well. The journey continues and constantly evolves. Just when I think I have it figured out, like life, there are new twists, new opportunities and new directions to take.
I am happy to say that I am home. As Dorothy said as she clicked her magic ruby slippers 3 times, “there is no place like home”, truly for me there is not, and for you I hope it is the same.
To be here in the present I need to step back 2 weeks and pick up where we left off.
“Don’t stand too close, I’m radioactive”
Like the 80’s song from The Firm, I was radioactive! I have to say that I never expected that. The last thing I had to do before checking into the hospital was get a full body bone scan to check my bone density for future reference when I begin chemo and radio-therapy.
They inject you with a radioactive chemical and then scan you. As I was leaving the hospital, they mentioned that for the next 48 hours I was radioactive and should avoid contact with people so I don’t affect them. I wasn’t quite “Glow in the Dark” but it was a strange experience nonetheless. It made for a very quiet, solitary and meditative weekend before entering the hospital again for my surgery which was probably the best thing for me. I had thought I might have a big celebratory bash good-bye to Tiny but the Universe said, be still, be quiet. So, I was. Through all of this I am learning to listen to the obvious messages.
So now, it is time to check into the hospital and step into an experience (major surgery) I have not had before and get ready for a new reality that would not have been my first choice. I now have the opportunity to confront my fears and believe me, there were many. I had no idea what may be coming and what that impact would be. There is an old phrase we often use, “if you can fake it, you can make it”, so I decided to put on my super positive “game-face” and embrace the experience full on. Where the positive came from in that moment I cannot take sole credit for. I have been surrounded by so much love, support, prayers and light the past few weeks, that it was really an outcome of that flow of love. I had no choice….it just happened…or did it?
“I Won the Lottery!!”
43 years ago, I did something really smart. I married my wife. Really, I won the Lottery on that day. Through all of this, it has been her constant strength and positive attitude that has pulled me through. It sounds cliché, but it is true and I know how lucky I am. She wouldn’t give me another choice. So, positive we go into the great unknown. Yahoo!!
Sada Sat Kaur (my wife) arrived at the hospital a few hours after I had checked in. She arrived with a prayer and projection for the doctors which was “Operate on this man as if he will live a long and healthy life.”
We can talk about the effect of that one later. She also decided to create a “Wall of Love” on the wall in front of my bed with positive messages from friends, family and yogis all over the world. Every day I was in the hospital the wall grew and grew until there wasn’t much room left. With the help of Piarprem and Har Anand, she was already putting up messages on Sunday evening, the night before my surgery. We had the messages in English and Italian so the hospital staff could get on the bandwagon as well and project those positive vibes. It was amazing, they loved it!
“The time for the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! …We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” Un-named Hopi Elder
Through all of this I have experienced the positive impact of community on us. I have been surrounded by so much love and support this whole time that the positive outcome of this surgery had been pre-decided. I am grateful to everyone for that. For the prayers and love from dear friends and the out-pouring of love from people that I barely know, thank you. Thank you to each of you. I embrace and I love you and I am eternally grateful.
The evening before my surgery was long and peaceful. And by the morning, I was more than ready even though I was not without trepidation. Once again the prayers and positive projections of so many held me in such a state of confidence and trust that I was ready for anything. This was a good thing because the challenge of that “anything” did arrive strong and powerfully.
Before we get into that, despite fasting the night before surgery (it all sounds so spiritual), the morning was truly wonderful. We were all singing and dancing (I was dancing in bed) to the song “Happy” by Pharrell as they rolled me away to surgery. I think the hospital staff thought we were nuts but they were loving it as well. That song carried me through a long and arduous day as well as the many mantras we had going non-stop 24 hours a day.
Next blog is coming soon. “The surgery and the recovery.” It was 10 days I shall never forget, and look forward to sharing that with you.
Love to All, Peace to All, Light to All,
Sada Sat Singh