Healthy, Chanting, Healing and Changing
There is something about September that I love. I have to admit that when I was young it was a time of great trepidation for me as summer ended and school began once again. My freedom would soon be lost to the regimentation of school. But even in that, September always held a special place in my heart as a time of positive change and possibility. It was always a new year. Perhaps it was the fact that I am a Libra with 5 planets in Libra and moving towards the Equinox (mid-September) always felt so balancing…sweetness to any Libra with a Libra overload.
And so, like so many Septembers of my youth, I enter this September with some trepidation but also with the feeling that positive change and possibility are on their way. At the end of this week, I have a CAT Scan to determine the results of my Radiology Therapy in July. It seems so long ago…long enough that I am happy to say that much of the discomfort it caused seems a distant memory. If all goes well, it will be that super positive change I am hoping for and it is filled with the possibilities that change can bring. I’m projecting positively and I am prepared for whatever comes even though it is my strongest hope that it will bring the news that my cancer, my good friend Tiny, is long gone as well as all of his spawn.
I have to admit I am feeling better. Like the Beatles sang so long ago, “I admit it’s getting better…getting so much better all the time.” I even sometimes forget I have that dreaded “C” word. Perhaps it is actually gone…we’ll find out soon enough. Though I do have to admit, my output these days has to be matched with equal periods of rest. I can’t just power through as I used to. It’s nice to accept that and give myself the loving care I need. That’s a big change and one that I am very happy about.
Good changes just keep happening to me. So much of my recent past life (that would be the past 65 years) has been about “soldiering up”…something I learned from an early age. It’s nice to let that part go although it’s there when I need it to find the fortitude to do the less savory things of life…they are a part of it after all.
These days, I also use a cane for balance. In my operation I had some nerve damage in my left leg that gives me periods of no feeling in my thigh so it affects my balance at times. So having a cane is good for that and it does give me a bit of a distinguished look I have to say. It took some “sucking up” and good old-fashioned humility to get over the ego of feeling less than perfect in using a cane. In the end I’m happy to say I gave up that “soldiering up” thing…right?
Another awesome change and discovery I have made, is using wheelchairs in airports. Of course, the first price in that is having to go to airports. At first, I was “no way I am using a wheel chair…I haven’t lost all of my faculties yet!” I tell you though, if you want a fast, effortless way to get around the airport, including everything from security to passport control, there is nothing like a wheel chair. Plus, everyone is so nice to you. It has a huge compassion quotient and seems to bring out the best in people. I’m not recommending going and getting a wheel chair but if you ever need one in the airport, it’s pretty awesome. And the airlines are very happy to provide it including the person to push you…no questions asked.
So the changes keep coming to me and they seem to be getting better. My fevers of early and mid summer have passed. The heavy fatigue and vertigo have gone. And now I am in a good state of balance and moderation. As long as I can maintain that, I am in good shape. It’s great because it has given me back the energy to teach and that is wonderful. To me there is nothing as rewarding and elevating as teaching and sharing this awesome yogic life. For the periods that I was not able, I missed it deeply.
I was able to teach in our Teacher Training here at Yoga Borgo. There is no place like home and teaching at home is super special. We had an awesome group and had a great week of yoga and meditation. To be a part of it is greatly healing for me.
Lovely Teacher Training at Yoga Borgo
Also, I’m happy to say that I even felt well enough to go to China to teach with Sada Sat Kaur. Of course that is my most favorite thing to do…spending time with her. Adding teaching to that, you’ve got a good thing going. So, it was a super bonus to spend time (mostly when we were sleeping) and travel and teach together. The schedule can be pretty busy but as I have said, I am becoming quite expert in pacing myself. That is the secret I think of longevity. I’ll have to have a few more years before I can actually claim the longevity card but balance and moderation seem to be working well for me.
Enchanted in China
China was awesome and it was a good test for my strength and to assess how I am doing. I have to say, I did great! The air travel was killer and there were moments when I wondered, “what am I doing?”, but I survived and then thrived. I am so happy that I was able to teach and share and meet so many wonderful people with such a great thirst for new experience. Now I am home and recovering…phew! It was all so worth it! Teaching has such a great healing quality for me. I am so fortunate to have that and to have the energy to do it.
As I have mentioned before, I like turning to music to find inspiration. Looking for a happy, uplifting song about September though, has been difficult. So many songs about September are bitter-sweet and even downright sad. They are so often about the loss of the passing of time and change. But, in my experience change can be a good thing and as well so can be the passing of time. In my current journey, I have been blessed. It seems that things just keep getting better as I move forward in time. In my experience, the Beatles were right…I admit it’s getting better… getting so much better all the time.”
So, back to my September happy song search…I didn’t find one that really did it for me. I had to do some pretty heavy cutting and pasting but I did end up with some lyrics that inspire me from a song called “September”.
“It’s worth it in the end. Now it’s all so clear, there’s nothing left to fear.
It speaks to me. Lately, I’ve been doing a new mediation to overcome fear. Fear comes and it goes. It’s o.k. to admit that in the case you have any of your own. This mediation is only 3 minutes, which I love. To do it, sit in a comfortable position with your spine straight. Close your eyes and mediate at your 3rd eye point. Inhale and hold your breath in. Repeat silently the words,“I am Bountiful, I am Beautiful, I am Blissful”. Then exhale and keep the breath out and repeat silently “Excel, Excel, Fearless”. Then inhale and continue for 3 minutes. It’s an excellent positive affirmation. If you like, you can even do it a few times during the day. I highly recommend it. Fear dissolves.
And so, I keep moving forward. As the song says, it is worth it in the end and it is clear, there is nothing left to fear.
Say a positive prayer for my CAT Scan results. Whatever they may be, I’m looking forward to them. Remember…Fearless. I’ll let you know soon.
Love, peace and blessings to you all.
Sada Sat Singh